Captain’s blog

Memento

2026-03-07T13:22:00.000Z

The forward march of time appears to erase everything. Yet physics teaches us that information can not be destroyed.

In our own lives, we often try to grasp and hold on to artifacts of our past experience. These treasured items and digital files burden the soul as they pile up.

As the collection of external memories piles up, a subtle shift in the psyche occurs. We seek novelty to fill the treasure chest while losing grasp of the living memory that we carry in our souls. We find ourselves living like the protagonist in the film Memento, relying ever more on notes, photos, and screenshots just to navigate daily life.

This is a call to return to the present moment, where true memory lives.

Recipe: milk coffee

2026-01-25T22:51:00.000Z

For a while, I was on a quest for a perfect poor man’s latte, but now I’ve settled on something a little different: milk brewed coffee. After arriving at the technique, I searched online and couldn’t find anyone else making it the same way, so here’s my recipe.

Grind 1/3 cup of dark roast coffee on the finest grind setting.
Bring 1/3 cup of water to a boil.
Mix in the ground coffee and simmer until it thickens.
Pour in 14 ounces of milk and gradually heat until it reaches 190 degrees.
Strain the coffee through a metal coffee filter.

The resulting coffee is bold and agressive, it’s very hot and hits like a slap on the face to wake you up in the morning. I realize that not everyone likes coffee as intense as I do, and if that’s the case with you, any of the parameters can be adjusted for a milder brew.

How I enjoy my life

2026-01-16T02:47:00.000Z

To a child, there is no difference between pleasure and enjoyment. The developing psyche is completely immersed in the present moment. As we mature, the tracks of pleasure and enjoyment diverge. Now we confront the reality of constant change, and the impermanence of everything. Some create suffering by resisting change, while others accept change passively. Some are blessed to put themselves in the driver's seat, changing themselves and the environment around them at will.

It is so easy to get stuck in a rut pre-determined by your nature and nurture, but I like to remind myself that I am not a product of my environment, but my environment is a product of me.

I wrote previously using the metaphor of life as a book. Boredom is the result of inattention, and manifests as mindless page turning. What I'm advocating now is to stop letting everyone else fill in the pages for you.

If your life is a book, what do you want to write in this chapter?

No new year’s resolutions this year

2025-12-22T00:41:00.000Z

This is not a manifesto against having new year’s resolutions. Certain goals progress slowly enough that the gradual incrementation of that number on the calendar may well be the best pace of assessing progress, or the lack thereof. One may argue against waiting for the new year to implement necessary changes, while on the other hand, the social implications of committing to goals as others do likewise and holding one another accountable may justify delay. The statistics on failure rates among new year’s resolutioners may encourage individual action as opposed to joining the crowd. This can go back and forth in endless debate, but I’ll choose action over analysis, and if a new year’s resolution spurs one to action, then I’m all for it.

I am not setting any for 2026. My reasoning is that I feel they emphasize quantity over quality. Another framework for viewing this distinction is in comparing lateral change to vertical change. A vertical change is climbing the ladder: getting bigger (or smaller), stronger, faster, wealthier, etc. There is cost to pay for every rung, and diminishing rewards as you go. Lateral change, on the other hand, is about exploration rather than exploitation. A typical new year’s resolution might be to read a certain number of books. A lateral approach would ignore the number of books, but might involve reading different books than one normally would, a change of quality that can’t be expressed in quantity.

Anyone else rejecting new year’s resolutions this year? There is still time to cancel them now before the new year begins!

2025 in review

2025-12-15T02:20:00.000Z

Last year, I wrote down four things on my /now page that were really about future intentions. I did get called out for cheating in that way. Maybe I was mentally taking credit for things I had not yet done by putting them there as if they had been done. Perhaps I was not able to think of much to put down pertaining to the now as of that time, so put those there to fill up the space. Since then, I’ve cleaned up my /now page, but I’d like to look back on those four items and review how they played out during 2025.

Phasing out social media

I waffled on this for a while before decisively pulling the plug on it. Simply put, social media is an addiction. Many critics point to the corporate overlords of these platforms, whose motivation is to farm your attention, which together with billions of other users, is commoditized and sold to the highest bidder. When this is the real game afoot, of course the product will be corrupt! This line of thinking led me to the false promised land of democratized social media. Take away the profit motive and collectivized decision making, turn the platform into a protocol where users have choice in everything. What could go wrong, right?! As I explored this possibility, I even customized my client software to remove features I didn’t like, like likes.

What did I learn from all this? I concluded that the original sin of social media is the lack of effort it encourages. This goes for both the content produced, and the act of consuming it. Removing the predatory masters and blatantly addictive features does not solve this problem.

Thinking about moving

Moving as much as I have throughout my life is a hassle. Part of me would like to put down real roots, but then I’d probably feel like I was missing out on experiences like living abroad for a time. Given that I have this wanderlust, I’d like to make the most of it by exploring places I may want to settle down in, and by practicing minimalism as a skill. It’s not that I’m against having stuff, but that I don’t want to be tied down by it.

I moved to Arizona at the end of last year, and since then I’ve moved twice within the Phoenix metro area. With a motorcycle as my only transportation, this has put a constant pressure on limiting the things in my possession. Much of my experience being here has been of disillusionment. Constantly getting stuck in bad habit loops while an uninspiring job drains my motivation. There is something worthwhile in this entire experience, however. In the extreme minimalism this life here has pushed me towards, where so much of life has been stripped away, this process of removal has extended to my longtime vice of alcohol. Isolated, far removed from my own past, and worked almost to my breaking point, there was no room left for that menacing comfort. The richness of life can return after the lessons of poverty have been applied.

Another benefit to come out of this time has been that facing boredom led to creativity, further development of this website, and other computing projects. I’ve also found more enjoyment of nature here with the fascinating desert flora, usually sunny skies and vibrant colors of the sunrises and sunsets.

Hoping to spend less time in front of the computer

Back then, with a full time computer job and an obsession with tinkering with decentralized social media software on the side, there was no clear path to limiting my screen time. Losing that job was the bitter pill it took to reach a healthier balance between computer technology and the rest of life. Coming down from that extreme excess, I can feel the relief in my body. I think 8 hours of daily screen time, especially combined with sitting, is too much for anyone.

Planning to start a blog

And here we are, thanks for reading my blog! I am grateful that the IndieWeb exists and for everyone who reads this. I could keep a journal, and perhaps I will in the future, but for now I feel that writing in public provides the most advantage in organizing my thoughts and discarding the clutter. I also believe that it gives me a form of accountability. Looking at these four items I wrote about doing last year, they were all difficult, but they all got done. I owe it to you, the reader, to put the effort into my writing and to stand by my words.

Other reflections

Turning my focus now to the wider world, the second term of Donald Trump and the government shutdown gained a lot of attention in the news this past year. At least that’s what I gathered, as I don’t follow the news directly. In my opinion, there is nothing surprising about either of these events. As I see the unfolding of world history, we stand in the midst of a decades long decline of the American Empire. A morally and increasingly financially bankrupt empire. It’s a bumpy road for sure, but the options to veer to the left or to the right appear illusory. The only controls are the gas and brakes: are we going for a crash landing or a nosedive? Also, the voters don’t have their hands on these control. The ballot box offers a placebo button. Technology will play a major role in the political reorganization that is underway. The bloat of the system itself produces millions of bullshit jobs, increasing automation will eliminate millions of non-bullshit jobs. Everyone is fighting over scraps, trying to own a piece of a bankrupt future so they can keep their hamster wheel of consumption spinning. Sometimes, the only winning move is not to play.

The prison of the present

2025-11-21T22:20:00.000Z

This is a post about living in the present. Not learning from the past, or living in a way that is harmonious with the future, both yours and of those around you. Forever chained to the present moment. Where every feeling is all that matters. There is no guiding light beyond the convenience, comfort, and pleasures to be had in the present moment.

I can’t wake up early enough to have a relaxed morning routine, because I’m too tired now. When I wake up, I can’t spend some time in stillness, because caffeine beckons right now. I’ll pray later because there are new blog posts I want to read now. I wanted to pack enough food for the day, but can’t because it’s time to go to work now.

Every day on the job is unsatisfying, because I don’t get to do what I want to be doing now. When break time comes, I can’t get relief from the hectic pace because I need food now. When I get to the store, I spend too much money because I want all those tasty foods right now.

I’d like to have a gym routine in the evening after work, but when I get home, I want all the food now, and I’m too tired after eating it. I’d like to go for a walk, but the ever glowing screen seizes my attention now.

The day is over, and all I accomplished was the bare minimum. That would be fine if it was to slow down for a spell of relaxing, but this is something different. I’m running from my own shadow, a day late and a dollar short. Too poor to pay attention while my life slips away. Holding on to the chains of the present with white knuckles.

Ten pointless facts about me

2025-10-19T23:25:00.000Z

This challenge was started by Forking Mad+.

Do you floss your teeth?

Yes, for me it is the foundation of dental care, as I rarely brush my teeth. I carry floss picks everywhere I go, and reuse them until they break. Before I took the floss pick pill, I never flossed consistently because it was annoying. Now I would feel naked leaving my house without a floss pick.

Tea, coffee, or water?

Coffee is the best beverage. Tea comes in second, but I don’t like the taste of plain tea, I like it fermented, in the form of kombucha, mother nature’s soda—probiotic and low in sugar. Water is necessary for hydration and very refreshing on a hot day or in the sauna. I drink reverse osmosis water with sea minerals and sea salt added. I avoid water with fluoride.

Footwear preference?

Water shoes are the optimal plebeian minimalist shoe. My other main shoe is George brand work slippers. I don’t like shoes with shoelaces.

Favorite dessert?

I think most desserts are too sweet, so probably something like lemon pie. The dessert I eat most frequently is ice cream, but I find most ice cream to be too sweet for my preference. If I wasn’t being lazy and impulsive and grabbing a pint at the store to eat in one sitting, then I’d say a lower sugar, homemade ice cream with fresh fruit along with a slice of cherry pie would be a pretty great dessert.

The first thing you do when you wake up?

I wake up many times throughout the night, so I’m trying to get an idea of what time it is, and figure out if I should get up yet. Also, I have to pee when I wake up.

Age you’d like to stick at?

Past age: 21. Future age: 61.

How many hats do you own?

I don’t know. Most of them are to keep warm in the winter.

Describe the last photo you took?

The lake at Kiwanis Park, near my house.

Worst TV show?

I don’t watch TV anymore, but back when I did, Lost was probably the worst show that I attempted to watch.

As a child, what was your aspiration for adulthood?

To build my own house and fly airplanes.

My approach to budgeting

2025-09-21T16:06:00.000Z

I stopped keeping a budget of any kind for the past several years, but now I’m moving to a simpler way of budgeting. The tedious ritual of tracking every penny eventually feels meaningless. Perhaps a budget is like financial training wheels: useful in the beginning, but meant to come off eventually.

Here were my reasons for letting go:

After years of budgeting, better spending choices become second nature. You know what a frivolous expense looks like and are used to delaying gratification. With these habits in place, the budget itself becomes an unnecessary formality.
If the purpose of budgeting is to reach stability, there comes a time when that stability is achieved and the tool has fulfilled its purpose.
Budgeting often comes with a scarcity mindset, where you risk being penny wise and pound foolish. Shifting toward abundance means taking calculated risks, investing in yourself, and learning generosity.

I asked ChatGPT for other perspectives on quitting a budget as one matures:

Trust in disciplined instincts. Over time, spending patterns balance themselves without micromanagement.
Shift from scarcity to sufficiency. Maturity recognizes that resources ebb and flow.
Focus on value, not price. Buy what truly serves your life, not what fits a category.
Emotional simplicity. Constantly tracking numbers breeds stress; letting go brings peace.
Built-in frugality. With age, impulsive desires fade, making guardrails less necessary.
Time is worth more. Energy and attention matter more than squeezing every cent.
Confidence in reserves. Habits and savings create a natural buffer.
Greater clarity of priorities. With maturity, money follows values without a spreadsheet.
Life feels less transactional. Stewardship and gratitude replace ledgers.
Spiritual dimension. Trust in providence eases the need for control.

I also asked for counterarguments, and the case for lifelong budgeting is strong:

Clarity prevents drift and keeps lifestyle creep in check.
Guard against self-deception; numbers reveal truths we might prefer to ignore.
Adaptation to change. Recessions, medical bills, dependents all shift the equation.
Accountability anchor. Writing it down adds structure memory alone cannot provide.
Intentional stewardship. Budgets align money with higher purposes.
Wealth management scales up. More resources require more oversight.
Legacy and responsibility. Budgets shape how you provide for others.
Efficiency of resources. Even the wise can waste; budgets channel surplus toward good use.
Defense against temptation. Desires do not disappear.
Peace of mind. Tracking reduces anxiety by turning the unknown into something tangible.

Awareness of both perspectives encourages a more flexible approach. I'll lay out the one that fits my current circumstances.

After a recent career change, my income has dropped significantly. The mathematics of compounding makes every leak costly: small losses today become large ones across decades. With perhaps forty years of earning ahead, I need to plug the holes now. At five percent annual growth, a dollar saved today becomes seven by the time I retire.

My spending has improved with age, but one category remains unruly: food.

Rejecting modern budget tools

I will not return to tools like Mint, which require constant maintenance and worse, represent an invasion of financial privacy. In recent years I have moved deliberately toward digital sovereignty, and there is no going back to the naivete of exposing my finances to corporations or governments.

Dave Ramsey’s cash envelope system always appealed to me, but I resisted for the sake of credit card rewards. That objection no longer holds. Cash back is part of the larger trap of consumer spending on credit.

The savings from cash back are an illusion. You earn two percent while processing fees eat up three, a cost that merchants pass on to you. Five percent categories can really seem like a free lunch, but they drain mental energy and often encourage more frivolous spending. Better to support merchants who refuse cards or add surcharges that expose the real cost.
We can imagine an ideal of an “atomic economy”, where the atom is the individual. Payments move with minimal friction between individual producers and consumers, without financial middlemen. Bringing this vision to reality will require much effort, especially for online commerce. Where these principles can be put into practice today is in meatspace with cash: sourcing food from local farmers and paying friends for repairs.
Cash back is also a kind of “poor tax.” Only those with years of good credit history qualify for premium rewards, yet everyone pays higher prices.

A hybrid cash envelope system

Since food is my only problem area, I plan to use a single cash envelope. At the same time, I want a system that works for both cash and credit. I intend to move more purchases to places that do not accept cards, like the employee-owned WinCo in my area, but I still want flexibility for online niche food purchases, restaurants, or the occasional convenience run.

The simplest way is to dedicate a single credit card to food purchases. Others could replicate this across more categories, as long as each has a separate card. At the end of each month, you tally both the envelope and the card statement, and now you have a working hybrid cash envelope system!

The main drawback is less visibility during the month. Overspending could sneak up before the tally is done. A rollover budget helps: spend too much and the next month tightens, spend less and gain a surplus for later. The rhythm balances itself.

This is all theoretical for now, but in October I will test it in practice. I plan to post a follow-up to report how it works. I hope this experiment inspires others to try new approaches to budgeting and share what they learn.

Turning the page

2025-09-07T23:27:00.000Z

Every step we take in life is the turning of another page. I once followed a guru who said that you have to read as many pages as you can of this life and world before you go. I would like to add something to that: make sure you’re really reading them and not just skimming through the book. My journey from Virginia to Washington, DC then back to Virginia then to Texas and finally to here in Arizona has had many pages. Old familiar faces fade into memory with each new home, school, job, church, and circle of friends.

Sometimes when we read a book, it’s easy to lose mindfulness and read whole paragraphs that don’t leave their mark. At least with a book, it’s easy to go back and pick up what you missed the first time (that’s why I prefer reading over listening to audiobooks). You don’t get that chance in life!

So next time rambling fever strikes, I will look for something I missed on the page that I’m at. Sitting here now on South Mountain, with the setting sun in my eyes and feeling the relief from the blazing heat of Phoenix summer as fall approaches, I won’t be turning the page again just yet.

Pulling the plug on AI

2025-08-11T02:52:00.000Z

My previous published articles are fake. I didn’t write them, AI did. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that they misrepresented my opinions, just that I didn’t put in the work of writing them.

The captivating duo of AI and social media are the perfect recipe for brain rot. Now that the social media monster has been safely caged, it is time for me reach for a higher level of mental functioning that can only be achieved by writing words by myself. This means I’m taking a break from AI. I’ll still use it for some simple coding tasks, but during this phase for personal growth and development, I will practice writing raw, like was normal just a few years ago.

The allure of AI is that it can churn out perfectly written statements that I agree with. It pursues an argument down different paths than I would have taken. It functions as a research engine, quickly finding information to support my claims. But without also prompting it to generate an opposing argument, I am presenting its findings with an air of neutrality that is false. Ultimately, I lose my own voice as the skill of writing itself atrophies. So I’ll be writing unassisted for a while. Just my thoughts and a text editor.

Unconventional choices: common things I skip

2025-06-25T23:45:00.000Z

We’re taught to optimize, subscribe, track, and consume. To stack habits, gadgets, and upgrades like it’s a form of progress. But for me, clarity has come not from adding more, but from letting things go.

This is a list of things I’ve chosen not to do. Not as a rejection of society for its own sake, but as an experiment in living differently. Simpler, slower, less entangled, because in a world of more, we find peace in less.

Media

I avoid news.
I avoid social media algorithms from big tech companies.
I don’t watch pornography.
I don’t own or watch a television.

Daily habits

I don’t wake up to the sound of an alarm clock on most days.
I don’t eat breakfast every day.
I don’t brush my teeth on most days.
I don’t shower every day when the weather is cool.
I don't drink alcohol on a daily basis.

Technology

I don’t use any technology from Apple.
I don’t have a calendar, digital or physical.
I don’t own a smartwatch or fitness tracker.
I don’t use cloud storage for personal data.
I don’t use voice assistants like Siri or Alexa.
I don’t subscribe to any paid streaming or software services.
I don’t run smartphone or computer operating systems from big tech companies.
I don’t play video games.

Health

I don’t use antiperspirant deodorant.
I don’t use skin products like lotion or sunscreen.
I don’t use anything besides soap and water in the shower.
I don’t drink soda or sugary drinks.
I don’t use nicotine products.
I avoid over the counter medications, using only in rare circumstances.

This isn’t a manifesto, it’s just a snapshot of one person’s quiet edits to modern life. You don’t have to agree with any of it. But if it gets you thinking about what you might stop doing, then it’s already served its purpose.

Thanks for reading! I hope this inspires more people to share their don’t lists.