The prison of the present

This is a post about living in the present. Not learning from the past, or living in a way that is harmonious with the future, both yours and of those around you. Forever chained to the present moment. Where every feeling is all that matters. There is no guiding light beyond the convenience, comfort, and pleasures to be had in the present moment.

I can’t wake up early enough to have a relaxed morning routine, because I’m too tired now. When I wake up, I can’t spend some time in stillness, because caffeine beckons right now. I’ll pray later because there are new blog posts I want to read now. I wanted to pack enough food for the day, but can’t because it’s time to go to work now.

Every day on the job is unsatisfying, because I don’t get to do what I want to be doing now. When break time comes, I can’t get relief from the hectic pace because I need food now. When I get to the store, I spend too much money because I want all those tasty foods right now.

I’d like to have a gym routine in the evening after work, but when I get home, I want all the food now, and I’m too tired after eating it. I’d like to go for a walk, but the ever glowing screen seizes my attention now.

The day is over, and all I accomplished was the bare minimum. That would be fine if it was to slow down for a spell of relaxing, but this is something different. I’m running from my own shadow, a day late and a dollar short. Too poor to pay attention while my life slips away. Holding on to the chains of the present with white knuckles.